My husband and I have started taking solo trips and it’s made us better parents
When I came back from my holiday by myself, I felt ready to take on parenting again with a renewed sense of patience
It was a balmy late summer’s day in September 2025 when I set foot in the Tate Modern in London. Young children ran around me in the gallery’s colossal foyer. Their high-octane energy reminded me of my four-year-old son. He was not with me but at home in Yorkshire with my husband.
This was the first trip after my son’s birth that I had taken by myself. For the first time in almost five years, I had the entire day to explore a gallery at my own pace, to do things for myself and no one else.
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Since I became a mother, time has become a precious commodity. When your child is young and requires constant supervision, even an hour soaking in the bath is impossible. One of the biggest challenges of parenting is not having moments to yourself. The transition to motherhood — the psychological, emotional and physical changes — is already difficult, but to not have time alone makes this even harder.
I have always enjoyed my own company, so in the past few years caring for a child without respite has at times felt suffocating.
My husband, son and I have had several family holidays, but I’ve felt just as stressed as at other times if not more so because I was in unfamiliar surroundings. You don’t stop being a mother on a family holiday.
So when my husband asked me last summer what I wanted for my birthday I said: “Time by myself.”
I booked a nice hotel in London and drew up an itinerary that included art galleries, browsing bookshops, eating at Borough Market and meeting up with friends. I had a queen-size bed all to myself and I could watch whatever I wanted on the TV. To me, this was freedom.
The constant background hum of anxiety I have when I am at home juggling motherhood with work and housework suddenly disappeared. It was bliss, and it marked the beginning of what has now become a yearly tradition: my husband and I taking solo trips to recharge and come back as better parents.
My long weekend in London was followed a month later by my husband taking a week-long trip by himself to a beach resort in Turkey. I looked after my son for a week by myself and while that was tiring, I tried to approach it as quality time with him, remembering just how important it was for my husband to have this break.
I am aware that the ability to take this yearly solo trip is a privilege that many single parents do not enjoy, unless they have close and trusted family members to take care of their children. At most, they might be able to have a day out by themselves, but at the cost of paying for a childminder.
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For my husband and I, neither of us felt guilty for taking a holiday by ourselves, as having time away from your partner and child is vital for lowering stress levels and preventing burnout. I think back to times when I was mothering constantly, with not even one day to myself. It severely affected my mental health, and even exacerbated feelings of resentment towards my family for not giving me a break.
I do not believe I must sacrifice my whole self to motherhood and, in those few days spent by myself last year, I was able to reconnect with the person I was before.
When I came back, I felt ready to take on parenting again with a renewed sense of patience. Our son’s tantrums felt manageable, not overwhelming.
My husband and I have now made a pact to have at least one solo trip each a year, because to be a good parent you cannot pour from an empty cup.
