Weekend with Eshaan Akbar: ‘I stand in the conservatory like an old man and just stare into the garden’
The comedian on taking Japanese walks, staying up into the early hours after gigs and his latest comedy special
Eshaan Akbar, 41, is a British comedian of Bangladeshi and Pakistani heritage who lives in London. Since leaving his career in finance and starting standup in 2014, he has appeared on shows including the BBC’s Live at the Apollo, Mock the Week and QI. In 2020 he hosted a regular Saturday afternoon show on the BBC Asian Network and Radio 4 Extra.
Akbar starred as Principal Lakhani in the fourth season of Netflix’s Sex Education.
Are you an early riser or a late sleeper?
I love sleeping. I hate waking up early. My lifestyle means I’m in bed at two or three in the morning, so waking up really early doesn’t work for me.
How do you start your weekends?
Recently I’ve been trying my best to get a full seven to eight hours of sleep, which I’ve been pretty successful at somehow. I then go for a Japanese walk.
Which is?
It’s basically interval walking — you walk fast for three minutes and walk slow for three minutes. And then I have breakfast.
What’s your breakfast order?
It’s either aloo paratha (stuffed paratha with potatoes) or halwa puri, Pakistani breakfast of deep-fried bread with chickpea curry and a semolina pudding. There are a couple of places near us that we buy from: Nagina in Ilford, Nirala in Seven Kings, and a place in Chadwell Heath called Rotiwala.
What do you make at home?
If the whole family’s in, I’ll make an aloo bhaji, which is basically deconstructed hash browns. I’m a big fan of chopping stuff up. I find it quite cathartic. I really think that the way you slice up your veg makes a big difference in the experience of enjoying the food. If there is an opportunity at the weekend for me to chop up a load of veg, I’ll do it.
So you look forward to chopping on the weekends?
Listen, it’s all meal prep.
Is cooking a big part of your life?
I try to do a cooking class every month in a different cuisine. The last one I went to was Korean. I made a Korean pancake, bibimbap and kimchi. I’ve got a Japanese class coming up. It’s fun. I’m usually the only guy there who’s there by himself, like a loser, and everyone else is there in couples or with their families.
What’s next for you on a typical Saturday?
I promise you, I’m an interesting, fun person — but Saturday is a big laundry day. It’s like an admin day for me. Unless I’m gigging.
Best cities you’ve been to on tour?
My favourite places tend to be the old working-class British cities — Liverpool, Belfast, Glasgow, Manchester. When I do my Asian gigs, I like Harrow or Cardiff.
I like crowds when they are a little bit rowdier and when they’re really up for a laugh. Comedy, I think, is probably the only art form that transcends class and cultural boundaries — it brings people together. The hope is that we can collectively enjoy each other’s company.
Do you go out after shows?
It is not beyond the realms of possibility that on a Saturday night after a gig, I’m out smoking a bit of shisha or meeting up with my pals until the early hours of the morning, just making bad decisions.
Where do you like to go?
If I’m in London you’ll find me around Soho. I’m a big fan of the Groucho Club and I like a late-night eat.
And the rest of the weekend?
I’ve fallen in love with reading again. The other day, I got myself Chronicle of a Death Foretold, a novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Music is another big one, I’m listening to qawwalis and singing. There are so many WhatsApp groups that, on a Friday or a Saturday, will receive a voice note from me singing.
Just singing?
Just singing into WhatsApp.
I imagine that’s well-received.
Er, I would say it’s partially well-received.
What sets the tone for a perfect weekend?
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My coffee is such a grounding bit of my day. I make my coffee in a moka pot — I take it quite seriously — then I stand in the conservatory like an old man and just stare into the garden.
I have a cat called Leo and I will usually sing made-up songs at him while he stares at me disapprovingly, and then I start a fight with him because that gets my energy up. I’m quite scratched up by him — we have lots of fights. Then I’m able to start my day.
What are you working on at the moment?
My special is out on YouTube. It’s called Fool Moon. It’s the latest collection of all my favourite stand-up bits. And I have a new podcast called The Early Evening Show with Eshaan Akbar. It’s me talking about the week I’ve had and my thoughts, feelings and observations about what’s been going on in my world, and the wider world. Just a way for me to connect with my fans.
Eshaan Akbar’s comedy special, Fool Moon, is out now.
