What to say to our children if they come across Islamophobic content online
I worry about the day my son will see a post and ask, ‘Why is this person saying horrible things about Muslims?’
As a parent, it’s almost impossible to not be concerned about what your kids come across online. In December, Australia brought in an outright ban on under-16s using social media — the first such law in the world. Inspired by this, I signed up to the Smartphone Free Childhood pact, where parents agree to delay buying a smartphone for their children until they are 14 and limit access to social media until they are 16. At the very least, there’s hope that this might act as some kind of barrier to online harm.
Research from the children’s commissioner for England in 2022 found that 45% of kids aged eight to 17 have come across harmful content that made them worried or upset. In July, the government implemented new laws as part of the Online Safety Act requiring platforms to protect children online. It states that children will see fewer concerning posts or videos on their feeds as platforms are required to make sure their algorithms aren’t feeding kids content that promotes hate speech and other harmful behaviours. Platforms must also provide clear, accessible ways for children and their parents to report such content.
Still, there will always be risks. And in a year that has seen record levels of Islamophobia and growing far-right movements on our streets, we as Muslim parents have the added worry that our children might stumble across anti-Muslim hatred online. My four-year-old has an Amazon Kids tablet where he can access YouTube. Ammar is becoming more and more inquisitive and I wonder what I’ll say to him the day he asks: “Why is this person saying horrible things about Muslims?”
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Dr Sofia Rehman, Islamic scholar and visiting research fellow at the University of Leeds, believes it is never too early to have an age-appropriate conversation with your children.
“We want to come from a place that is informed rather than scared,” she says. “What you want to do is pass on to your children the tools, skills and ability to navigate situations of Islamophobia, rather than pass on the idea of shrinking themselves or seeing themselves as the perpetual victim.”
One of those tools is media literacy — learning how stories are made, how algorithms are formed and how bias shows up in social media. This helps children form critical awareness of Islamophobic content instead of internalising it. Rehman suggests referring to examples in popular culture — she recently used a scene in Wicked: For Good as the “perfect opportunity to explain to my children how people online can manipulate things and how it is important to question the messages we receive”.
Rehman adds that when our children develop media literacy skills, they are less likely to internalise Islamophobic messages and blame themselves or their community. In addition, they allow our children to respond to hateful messaging with confidence, clarity and an understanding that Islamophobia is a systemic issue.
“It’s important to show our children that, yes, there are bad people who are Islamophobic and hold these negative views, but there are also allies,” she says. “It’s really important that children don’t think that every non-Muslim is against them. We have to be careful not to forge our children into the same sort of binary thinking that harms them and us through Islamophobia.”
That polarised thinking, Rehman says, limits our ability to develop compassion, empathy and healthy connections.
“Our children take their cues from us. The way we talk about the world really matters,” she adds. “It’s just as important that parents invest in their own understanding and do some self-reflection in order to teach their children.”
That means teaching our children principles that are rooted in faith, such as ihsaan — excellence and compassion in our reactions. Doing so involves helping our children to recognise our shared humanity even when it is difficult, such as in their reaction to a hateful social media post.
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If your child tells you they have come across a video that made them upset, Rehman recommends letting them speak openly about their experience and answering any questions they may have “to process the information they have received and the emotions they are feeling”.
“The best thing to do is to advise your children to not engage with them,” she says.
The hope is that if children don’t engage, the algorithm will send them less harmful content.
If kids are affected by such content, there are support services from charities such as Muslim Youth Helpline or Young Minds.
In addressing these issues, there is also an opportunity to encourage our children to spend some time away from screens. For younger children, this could look like setting limits on screen time — for example, one hour of supervised screen time a day and none on weekends — and encouraging them to play or read the rest of the time.
Psychiatrists suggest weaning teens off social media. Try introducing a cut-off time for phones for the whole family (parents included) a couple of hours before bedtime.
And ultimately, there are two online tools we can teach children of all ages to use: the block and mute buttons.
